Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Silenced No Longer

My name is Leslie Raddatz.  I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Conversion and Somatization Disorders which are all the after affects of parental neglect, physical, emotional, and sexual abuse.  I am starting this blog to connect with other Peers/Survivors of abuse and traumas.

I am not going to hide my diagnoses anymore because it is part of who I am. I have learned to cope with my symptoms and difficulties that I experience each day.  I will be Silenced No Longer about the abuse I endured and I will no longer keep my abusers' secrets.  I am taking my personal power, body, mind, and spirit back from my abusers.

I would like to start out by asking my followers - What is your diagnosis or diagnoses?  How were you diagnosed? What were the circumstances that led you to get diagnosed? 

If you are not diagnosed with anything but are having troubling symptoms, what are you experiencing?


  1. I am diagnosed with Bipolar; and PTSD resulting from a life of trauma. (primarily, childhood neglect, ritual and sexual abuse) I know that Bipolar is hereditary, but I happen to believe I may have had a fighting chance not to develop it if I hadn't of been raped and tortured in my young adult life. The diagnosis came shortly after these events. I am now 40 years old and have grown used to riding the waves of Bipolar Disorder, but the Post-traumatic Stress Disorder seems the hardest to deal with emotionally and psychologically. I constantly have to separate the past from the present and this battle is very exhausting. I have developed a lot of coping techniques, some healthy and some that are not. I have come a long way, but I feel like this is a life time road considering all of the trauma that I have experienced. You are truly an inspiration and I feel like I can learn a lot from you.

  2. I am so sorry for your struggle with both PTSD and Bipolar. I definitely understand your struggle with PTSD because I have that diagnosis too but to have both must be very difficult. I also have had childhood neglect and sexual abuse. I was 23 years old when I started to notice something was wrong because I started to have symptoms of panic attacks, stomach problems, and was scared like a little girl in trouble at work when my boss wanted to talk to me. I am now 34 and finally received help with a therapist and a psychiatrist and my life couldn't be better. My therapies consist of Art Therapy, EMDR and Brainspotting. It has really helped my PTSD symptoms to stay in control. There are still days where a trigger will make me have a flashback to my past abuse but you just have to remind your adult self to comfort the small child inside of you that endured the trauma until that memory is reprocess and doesn't bother you anymore. I am truly inspired by you too. I have also developed a lot of coping skills and like you said some are healthy and some are not. For me it is emotional eating when I am stressed or drinking large amounts of soda. So those are two destructive patterns I am working on to change. I started this blog because I believe mental illness needs to be talked about and we need to be proud of who we are instead of hiding. We are like everyone else but with more challenges each day to survive and if people without mental illness could understand that then maybe they would judge us less. Keep up the good work and keep blogging. I will look forward to more from you. Remember take each day with baby steps cope with one trigger at a time and you will make it.

  3. Hi. I am diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. My diagnosis is always under scrutiny though, and may even change to a more bipolar diagnosis. I have dealt with challenges of abuse and abusers my whole life too. Therapy helps keep me stable. Medicines help keep me stable. Writing and people to relate to keeps me stable. Thanks for sharing your life with us.

  4. I have counseling, medication and art therapy to help keep me stable with my PTSD. I also have found alot of comfort knowing I am not the only one with a mental illness. I feel if we break the silence on abuse one at a time then maybe the abusers will think twice before hurting another child or adult.

    What are some of your struggles with schizoaffective disorder?

    Thank you for trusting to share with me on my blog. This is what it was meant for so people with mental illnesses can come and find understanding and comfort that they are not alone and can reach out to me with questions or comments when they are ready.

    Leslie Raddatz

  5. Schizoaffective disorder is a mixture of schizophrenia and bipolar disorder. I am not so sure anymore that it is a schizophrenia disorder. It may have schizophrenia like symptoms, but is not caused by this disorder. We are still in the process of figuring that out for sure. I have struggled with depression for a long time.