Sunday, March 25, 2012

A Awesome Day!

I had a fun day with my five year old son.  We played on the swings together.  I remember how much fun I used to have as a child.  As I played with my son, I also took care of my "child within" by doing something fun and kid like.

The we decided to build a small fort made of sticks, leaves, bricks and green grass.  We also laid on the grass as we looked up in the sky and watched the birds go by.  My son says, "Mom are they going to poop on us?"  I said, "I hope not!" As we both laughed.

When you have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder it is sometimes very hard to get outside or have energy to do much especially when you are overweight like me. 

You really learn to enjoy the really great days!

Since the weather is getting so nice I have committed myself to lose the weight for the third time and hope this time I can keep it off.  I feel confident because this time I have my therapist to help me get through the scary times. When the weight starts to fall off and I start to worry about someone hurting me again.  Being obese is my safety net because I blend into the background.  I feel invisible and safe.  When I am thin I feel that I am upfront and center and feel unsafe due to being raped at 14 years old.

By doctor's standards, I should be 120 pounds, which leaves me with 97 pounds to lose with also lowering my fat by 30%.  However, my goal will be to be 140 pounds to start with.  As you see on my half marathon picture on my blog, I can do it and have done it in the past. 

My last half marathon was done in September 2010.  I have a half marathon, 13.1 miles, coming up in September 2012.  So I better get started.  I have my Post Traumatic Stress disorder under control. Now I have to get my body under control and get off high blood pressure medications and restore my body to a healthy weight.

I also am going to do the (NAMI) National Alliance on Mental Illness 5K walk on October 6, 2012.  To help bring awareness to mental illnesses.

Wish me luck and I appreciate your support on this journey.  I will give you updates from time to time.

Leslie Raddatz

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