Memories frozen/stuck as PTSD symptoms begin to overwhelm her. Experiences loss of control toggling-past & present. She fights for sanity while life stressors spiral out of control she seeks professional help to begin unraveling her childhood mystery by releasing repressed memories kept dormant for 34 years.
Friday, November 11, 2011
SH SH Don't Tell
I want to share with you today a poem I wrote when I was young. I think with my children being sexually abused by their step-brother it triggered this little girl, me, in this poem.
Sh Sh Don’t Tell
A young brown haired girl with a blue dress sits anxiously in the front row.As she heard what the speaker had to say, she started to fidget nervously with her dress.The more she heard the worse she became.
The speaker started to move about the room, as she looked down her eyes saw the young girl, quickly the girl bowed her head to hide the tears that were streaming down her cheeks.She felt like the speaker understood what was happening to her.
The young girl wanted to tell her what has happened but felt trapped because she promised her best friend she wouldn’t tell.As she looked nervously around the room her friend’s eyes met hers and she pleaded to break the silence, but her friend shook her head and turned away from her with disapproval.
She continued to sit quietly as she saw the woman demonstrate the bad touches on a doll.She learned that it was wrong what her friend’s brother was doing but was unable to tell in fear her friendship would end.
Copyrighted by Leslie Raddatz, author.
This poem Sh Sh Don’t Tell was published in The Healing Voice by the Center for Creative Arts and Healing in Syracuse, NY in 2004.
In this poem a reason I didn't tell was the bond I had with my friend which is called the trauma bond. I also felt guilty and ashamed for what was happening to me. I was in second grade when I was molested by my friend's brother.