I felt so much comfort once I reached out to fellow survivors because I couldn't reach out to family right away because I thought I was going crazy but I wasn't I had Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and by repressing memories and keeping it all stuffed inside. I became ill.
One example I was shopping at Wal-Mart with my son and I had all the symptoms of a stroke, lost my ability to speak, read, lost my memory, and was numb on one side of my body. I didn’t know the date, year or president, who could forget the president’s name. The worst part was my 18 month old son was in the cart and I forgot he was my son. Anything could have happened to him. What happened was my Conversion Disorder surfaced to protect my mind so I wouldn’t have a mental break down, but instead my body broke down. I stuffed so many secrets of my abusers’ in my mind and body that my body couldn't handle the burden anymore so it made me physically ill. The Somatization Disorder- is the physical symptoms are present and I was experiencing them and they are real but the doctors cannot find a cause for my symptoms. This is where you get the doctors who are rude to you because they prejudge you and it isn’t fair. I told the ER doctor in confidence that “My friend had a stroke recently and I wasn’t taking any chances so that is why I came in.” I overhead the doctors telling the nurse that “Her friend had a stroke so now she thinks she is having one too, as they all laughed at my expense. I felt humiliated and in an hour I had full recall of my memory and my body was restored to normal. My Psychiatrist said that the stress, anxiety got to such a high level that my body needed to take a break so that is what it did. That is why it is important for you to take care of yourself and to learn coping skills.