Thursday, November 17, 2011

Prejudging Others

Have you ever looked at someone in our society that looks different than you and prejudged them?

For example;
  • The girl with the piercing in her eye brows, tongue, and lip or the person with purple hair?
  • How about the girl that wears tight fitting clothing, heavy make up, and acts sexual toward boys, and hates the girls?
  • How about the young teenage mother who has to be on welfare to survive?
Were you one of these people or were you the one who judged the person without knowing their individual circumstances?

I was two out of the three: 

I was the girl wearing the tight fitting clothes to get the attention of all the boys while the girls called me slut, whore, and bitch.  My circumstances were the fact I didn't feel loved by my parents, or had no role model. My family was very dysfunctional and I was raped and abused most of my life.  In my eyes I was searching for love and companionship.  I was codependent and didn't feel worth anything unless I had a boyfriend. I didn't see that what I was doing to my self was destructive.  I was so broken that I turned on myself and continued to abuse myself.

The young mother had to be on welfare to feed her baby and to survive.  While abusing myself, I meant a guy I thought I loved so we planned our family. I was 18 years old a junior in high school.  I though a baby would fill the void I felt.  After I became pregnant, I panicked because I didn't think of the consequences of my actions or the fact I had no means to support the baby.  My only alternative was to go on welfare. 

Were you the person who glared at me and my baby in the check out line at the grocery store as I counted my food stamps out. or Where you the one that offered me a helping hand when I was a few dollars short?  Or Were you the person who assumed I would be on welfare forever.

By the way I was the one who beat the odds that were stacked against me.  I ended up with a Bachelors in Business Administration and Bachelors in Marketing.  Also have two degrees from a technical college.  I stayed in school for seven years because I enjoyed feeling the achievement of graduating. I didn't know how to feel this way in any other way.  Yes, my hefty student loans will take the rest of my life to pay off but I wanted to do right by my children and make something of myself so they could be proud of their mother.

Instead of judging people in similar situations or who look different than you do, I challenge you to be kind and understanding because they get enough abuse by hating themselves for the choices they have made. 

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