Thursday, March 15, 2012

What Makes Use Not Lose The Weight?

I have lost a large amount of weight only to gain it back and more.  I seem to get scared when I start to look good and men start to notice me.  I was 130 pounds when I was raped by an ex boyfriend. 

Then I found an abusive husband at the age of 18 still 130 pounds.  I figured out that because these traumas have happened in my life that I feel safer to be obese, invisible and with low self confidence.

I am working with my therapist to try and get these traumas healed so I no longer have those thoughts in my head telling me to eat for fear of being hurt again.  I am currently 213 pounds and am going to try again to lose the weight. 

As you see on my half marathon photo to your right of the screen I was looking good and healthy before I let myself go for a year and a half.  I am planning on doing a half marathon in September 2012. I will start training again as I have done before but the new hope is that I have my therapist to walk the journey and help me when I get scared or fall off track or lose motivation.

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